Sisters Unite in Washington and Around the World to March for Their Rights

Today an estimated 500,000 (including many men) women marched in Washington as did millions of women in 600 "sister marches" worldwide to protest Donald Trump's presidency and to remind him that women have rights (http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/womens-march-on-washington-crowd-streets-1.3946818). They marched for liberty, reproductive rights, wage inequality, and human rights in general. Many wore pink "pussyhats" to mock the president (they were a response to Trump's 2005 Access Hollywood remarks boasting about grabbing women's genitalia) and carried signs that read: "Our Bodies. Our Minds. Our Power," "Don't Grab My P***y," "Make Empathy Great Again," "Reproductive Rights are Human Rights," and "Stop Pretending Your Racism is Patriotism" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/10-striking-signs-from-the-women-s-march-in-toronto-1.3946745). I have a friend who was in Washington today, and man, do I wish I could have been there with her. I support my sisters in the South against a sexist and racist bully who will do anything but make America great again over the next four years. He will divide rather than unite. He will build walls rather than bridges. It's sad that women still have to fight for reproductive and other rights in the 21st century as they did hundreds of years ago. It also makes my blood boil. As if any person let alone a man has the right to tell a woman what she and cannot do with her body. Last time, I checked slavery had been abolished a long time again. It's incredible how abortion is "wrong," yet bearing arms is alright. Sure, keep increasing military spending and going into countries that don't want you there. Like that won't bite you in the ass one day. Not. According to a Statistics Canada 2015 survey, women still only earn 82 cents for every dollar earned by men (Statistics Canada, "Table 282-0072: Labour Force Survey Estimates (LFS), Wages of Employees by Type of Work, North American Industry Classification System (NAICS), Sex and Age Group," CANSIM (2016). A sexist like Trump won't be concerned about this. Although neither is our "feminist" prime minister Justin Trudeau. One of my good friends who is black said that she doesn't want to talk about American politics for the next four years. She is sickened. Simply sickened. So am I. Make America Great Again? Oh Donald, Donald, Donald. Go back to Celebrity Apprentice, the world you know best.

Trudeau's French Only Stance in Sherbrooke is Ignorant and Disrespectful

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's decision to answer English questions in French in Sherbrooke shows major disrespect to the English minority in Sherbrooke (and the whole of Quebec for that matter) as well as major sucking up to the French in Quebec. A province that didn't vote for him to get into power. A province that cares only about its interests and one that is obsessed with and paranoid about the French language. I know as I'm from there. It is very unbefitting for a prime minister to behave like this. I understand bilingualism is important and speak French myself; however, Trudeau blatantly disregarded the English minority in Sherbrooke when he answered all questions in English, including one from Judy Ross who asked about anglophone access to mental health services. Ross said his response was "very insulting. I really felt disrespected" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/justin-trudeau-sherbrooke-french-quebec-town-hall-1.3940629). Gerald Cutting, president of the Townshippers' Association, which represents the local English-language community, said he was shocked and appalled by Trudeau's actions. "It was as if someone had just walked up to me and hit me in the stomach. I lost my breath," said Cutting who was at the town hall meeting. "During the whole time that the prime minister was in the meeting, he did not say one word of English, not even in his opening remarks." (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/justin-trudeau-sherbrooke-french-quebec-town-hall-1.3940629). Cutting added that French-speakers around him also were puzzled by the prime minister's actions. "People afterwards said, 'Would he have ever thought of going into Manitoba and answering a French Manitoban who asked a question in French, and say, well, we're in Manitoba and therefore we should speak in English?''' Trudeau, who was "surprised" by all the English questions in Sherbrooke, now says that in retrospect maybe he should have answered the English questions in English (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/justin-trudeau-sherbrooke-french-quebec-town-hall-1.3940629). Didn't have the brains to think of that earlier, eh, Justin? Ah, it must be nice to have gotten elected because of your daddy's legacy and name. Three people have filed complaints with the Commissioner of Offical Languages. I think more should do so. Robert Libman, the former leader of the old Equality Party (a defunct English rights group in Quebec), said Pierre Trudeau must be rolling over in his grave because of his son's behaviour. He added that Trudeau’s refusal “is a transparent attempt to curry favour with Quebec nationalists and score cheap political points in the province” (http://montrealgazette.com/news/quebec/justin-trudeau-raked-over-the-coals-for-french-answers-to-english-questions). I agree! Trudeau is sucking up big time and not being discreet about it at all. Libman said it’s the second time in the past month that Trudeau “denigrated” the historical presence of Quebec’s English-speaking population. The same thing happened during the Ottawa-Gatineau bilingualism debate where he said, “Quebec has to be French in order for Canada to be bilingual” (http://montrealgazette.com/news/quebec/justin-trudeau-raked-over-the-coals-for-french-answers-to-english-questions). These are words that a separatist would use not someone who supposedly loves the country that voted him into office for the next four years. Trudeau's comment from the bilingualism debate is a load of BS. Parts of Northern Ontario like Timmins and Kapuskasing are made up of primarily French speakers. New Brunswick prides itself on being the only officially bilingual province in Canada. Ottawa has become extremely bilingual since I moved to Ontario over 12 years ago in August 2004. French is not dying anytime soon. In fact, it's getting harder in Ottawa to find work if you don't speak French. Good luck getting into the government. It's becoming kind of discriminatory towards English speakers who are qualified for jobs other than not being fluent in French. The University of Ottawa is quite militant in its use of French. It is something I was "used" to in Quebec. Jason Kenney, one of Stephen Harper's former cabinet ministers, tweeted that Trudeau's behaviour was an example of the "sort of arrogance that undermines support for bilingualism," (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/justin-trudeau-sherbrooke-french-quebec-town-hall-1.3940629). Furthermore, if Trudeau is so concerned about bilingualism in Canada would it not be wise to ensure people in Quebec learn English, so they too can expand their minds, horizons, and prospects as well? What a radical thought! That is what a truly bilingual Canada would be: everyone knowing both languages not just one! Mais oui!

A New Year - What Does It Really Mean?

It's 2017. A new year. Time to lose weight. Make more "me" time. Volunteer somewhere. Whatever your resolution may be. One of my friends is trying to be more positive and stay away from negativity. Personally, I don't make resolutions. What's the point? I'll break them anyway and then will be mad at myself. Be disappointed in myself. I have enough disappointment as it is. Online dating is a crappy way to meet people but seems to be the way to meet people these days. Good luck. I've been single for about six months now. I'm taking a break from online dating though. I can't handle all the sex fiends or guys who hold money and feel energy from it or who think GMOs will kill us all and that people are dying because other people only care about money. You wonder why some people are still single. Paranoid rants are just so unattractive. Try to find a job? Good luck if you're a millennial. For all the jobs out there, a high percentage of them are part time. There is no stability. There are no benefits or retirement plans. Debt adds up. Good luck saving through an RRSP. Two jobs are becoming the norm. A university degree is a piece of paper with no guarantee. Owning a house? That's a sweet sweet fantasy, isn't it, Mariah? The CBC recently did a segement about millennials and how they face three tough challenges in 2017's economy: precarious work, high home prices, and questions of whether retirement will ever be a reality (http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/under-35-you-face-at-least-3-tough-challenges-in-the-2017-economy-1.3921393). Young people like Samantha Louise Emery who lives in Calgary works a full time and part time job to make ends meet. "I'm just working all the time," she said (http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/under-35-you-face-at-least-3-tough-challenges-in-the-2017-economy-1.3921393). I feel her pain. I'm working two jobs: office contracts through an agency and part time at a call centre. I work with a woman who works three jobs and lives alone with her dog. She still doesn't make a lot especially since most of her jobs are around the minimum wage dollar mark. Home ownership? Good luck with that. If you want it of course. Personally, I'm a minimalist and have never aspired to own a house. What would I put in it? Stuff that that I don't need? For many millennials, one of the most daunting expenses is the down payment. A BMO survey found that "65 per cent said that they would have to rely on parents or other family members for help with as much as 10 per cent of the purchase price"(http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/under-35-you-face-at-least-3-tough-challenges-in-the-2017-economy-1.3921393). Retirement is another major concern. TD Bank found that more than half of millennials surveyed "would like to retire by the time they turn 60, but only a quarter think that's a realistic possibility. Most expect to have to work in their 60s or their 70" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/under-35-you-face-at-least-3-tough-challenges-in-the-2017-economy-1.3921393). I definitely see myself working into my 70s. If I don't end up homeless, I consider myself ahead of the game. Of course, the age of retirement is questionable and depends on if millennials can even afford to put money into an RRSP. Emery said, "I was paying into RRSPs before, automatically off my paycheques, but I decided to stop that because I needed the extra money for my bills and everything"(http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/under-35-you-face-at-least-3-tough-challenges-in-the-2017-economy-1.3921393). My Dad helps me out with this area, which I am grateful for. I also had some money saved from a previous job's RRSP, which went into my personal one. Other than that, I'm just struggling to pay my rent, bills, and afford groceries. Some months are better than others. Thank God for the Food Bank and loving friends and family. What do I hope for in 2017? Finding a full time office job and maybe getting back into publishing articles is paramount. Working two jobs is difficult, and I sometimes fear burn out. Meeting a good guy who is not commitment phobic and is emotionally available for a relationship would be awesome as would having strong and healthy relationships with my family and friends. I will try to stay away from negative people who criticize and bring me down. Hopefully I will lose some weight. More importantly, hopefully I will learn to love and forgive myself too. That would be a good thing. P.S. While at a friend's for dinner one day, I noticed an anonymous quote scribbled on her bulletin board that has stuck with me to this day: "Nothing will ruin your 30s more than thinking you should have your life together already." Let's try to remember that, my fellow millennials!

Canada Needs a National Plan to Fight Campus Sexual Assault and Rape Culture

Despite the fact that sexual assault on campus is a national issue, Canada does not have a national strategy for fighting it, sexual harassment, and today's rape culture. This is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. To top it off, you have officials like Justice Robin Camp saying vile things to a rape victim in Calgary in 2014 such as "Why couldn't you just keep your knees together?" and "Pain and sex sometimes go together" (https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2016/09/06/alleged-sex-assault-victim-to-testify-at-hearing-of-knees-together-judge.html). These are our judges in Canada? No one asks to be raped. No one deserves to be raped. Showing some cleavage or wearing a short skirt does not mean a woman is asking for it. This does not give a man license and permission to violate her in the worst possible way. Five brave women from five different universities across Canada have come together to demand calling for justice and a national organization to be set up where an online portal be set up to provide legal information, survivor resources, and advocacy. Three of the five women have made human rights complaints central to advocacy (Metro News, Monday, October 3, 2016, page 6). Mandy Gray, 28, is one such victim who has chosen to speak out. Her case is nationally known as her rapist was recently sentenced to 18 months in jail and has appealed his sentence. The PhD student in sociology at York University in Toronto filed a complaint with the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal in 2015 and what she described as a "very long battle" with York after she was raped by a fellow PhD student in January. "I just wanted to return to campus without having to run into him," Gray told Metro News (Monday, October 3, 2016, page 6). Her complaint alleges many things, including a failure of school policies and a lack of trained staff and a centralized place to report and get information. York defends its support of rape victims by saying that it provides counselling and is in the midst of developing a sexual assault policy to comply with Ontario's new Bill 132. Gray's lawyer Joanna Birenbaum, however, says that her client's complaint demands much more from schools' sexual assault policies than the new legislation requires. "Women bear the brunt of this policy failure, sometimes at the cost of their education and careers," she told Metro News (Monday, October 3, 2016, pages 6-7). This is not mention the devastation of women's minds and bodies. The rape victim who bore the brunt of Justice Camp's disturbing comments said that she contemplated suicide as a result of her experience. "He made me hate myself, and he made me feel like I should have done something... that I was some kind of slut" (https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2016/09/06/alleged-sex-assault-victim-to-testify-at-hearing-of-knees-together-judge.html). Seriously? A rape victim doesn't need to feel any worse than she already does nor should she ponder killing herself. Camp should lose his job. This is unprofessional and unacceptable. Gray said that the larger political project lies in the new national network she and the four other victims are forming: "We're drawing the linkages between these cases to demonstrate this is, in fact, a systemic-level issue, and there needs to be some kind of oversight, an external body to hold these universities responsible" (Metro News, Monday, October 3, 2016, page 7). Furthermore, she addresses consent education or rather "the fetishization of consent education" as an easy PR tactic that costs far less money and time-wise than creating a comprehensive response to sexual assault. "My attacker knew what consent was," she said (Metro News, Monday, October 3, 2016, page 7).

We Need People

I recently finished reading a book called If You Feel Too Much by Jamie Tworkowski, which my Uncle Johnny recommended. Tworkowski's stories and musings remind us that it's okay to not always feel okay, and it's okay to be human. It's okay to ask for help or to take a second to catch your breath. He speaks of pain but also of hope. His constant message is that "people need other people." What helps deliver his message is the fact that Tworkowski, 36, is candid about his own hurts, insecurities, and struggles with depression. He shares about his life, career changes, moving, friendships, and relationships. He writes about feeling down on holidays such as Easter and Thanksgiving. A Christian, he is anything but preachy. He is also the co-founder of To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA), an American non-profit organization that is "dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people who struggle with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide." The 10-year-old movement "exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and invest directly in treatment and recovery" (https://twloha.com). TWLOHA came about after Tworkowski wrote and published a story in 2006 entitled "To Write Love on Her Arms" about his friend Renee Yohe who was struggling with depression, self-harm, and drug addiction. She had also attempted suicide. She ended up staying with him and a friend for five days when she wasn't accepted into a treatment centre. An introvert, Tworkowski has been around the world speaking about hope and to not give up despite one's struggles with depression or addiction and that help is out there and that it okay to get help. He speaks about honesty, how we are loved, and community, i.e. how people need other people. Moreover, he said that we're all living stories and that our stories need more than one character. We're also part of other people's stories, and everyone's stories are important. In an entry in his book about Valentine's Day, he writes how we are all "living love stories." That really hit a chord with me. As a writer, I am very much drawn to stories and love people and their stories. I'm also an extrovert who needs people and have a great community of support as I've had my own struggle with depression. I'm currently dealing with much disappointment. Thank God for my friends and family. I had coffee with my pastor Paulo today who I've become friends with over the past nine months or so. He knows what it's like to have dreams and to know disappointment, pain, and depression. He encourages me to keep writing and to not sell myself short. He also told me: "You're amazing. You're an answer to prayer." That really touched me. I didn't expect to hear it. I also spoke with my best friend in Montreal tonight as well as had a lengthy conversation with another Montreal-based friend who usually makes me feel encouraged after we hang up. Thank God for amazing friends like Christina, Sigrid, (pastor) Paulo, and Heidi. Thank God for my loving boyfriend Paul. Thank God for Uncle Johnny who loves his "munchkin." Thank God for my Mom who may not always know the words to speak out loud, so she prays.

University of Ottawa: Discrimination in the Name of Bilingualism

Bilingualism is important but not to the point of discrimination as is the recent case with the University of Ottawa and student James Lewicki. Lewicki wasn't accepted into the master of political science program because he's not able to take a course in French, which is a program requirement. However, students in the French stream of the poli sci graduate program aren't required to take a course in English. This is utter hypocrisy and highlights U of O's obsession with bilingualism, namely the French language. It is also compelling evidence that the university discriminates against people with disabilities. Lewicki, who has been diagnosed as gifted, has a severe form of dyslexia that prevents him from learning a second language. "English as a language in itself was very difficult," Lewicki told CBC. "I spent years with a tutor in a special classroom learning the language" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044). As a result, he's filed a complaint with the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario, writing, "This has affected my sense of dignity...For an individual who has struggled with this special identity all my life, this continued reinforcement has shaken my concept of myself and of my abilities" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044). A university official suggested that Lewicki apply to a program that is "less stringent on bilingualism" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044). "They can say 'Go somewhere else,' but turning someone away because of a disability and saying 'There are other options' is still discrimination," said Lewicki. "If you turn someone away because of the colour of their skin, or their gender, or identity, that's still discrimination, even if there's a store next door that would take them" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044). A University of Ottawa spokesperson wrote an e-mail saying that the university "[did] not see this as an accommodation issue... [and that] Mr. Lewicki was not admitted... because he did not meet the essential admission requirements for the program" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044) Renu Mandhane, chief commissioner of the Ontario Human Rights Commission, said, "What we see... time and time again is rigid requirements that unnecessarily exclude people. Quite honestly, human rights law trumps tradition. You have to articulate something that goes beyond, 'This is how we've always done it'" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044). Under the law, a university can only discriminate against someone if it can prove that making accommodations would cause undue safety concerns or financial hardship. Lewicki said he faced discrimination months earlier, ironically while taking a human rights course. He has a physical disability called graphomotor disorder, which means he can't write by hand. "I'm allowed a laptop in classroom and during exams, as long as it's not connected to the Internet," he said. (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044). A professor, however, forbade anyone from using a laptop in his classroom. The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa said that the university is not "flexible" about better accommodating students with disabilities despite the Federation's efforts to "continuously" talk it (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044). Lewicki said that the university's refusal to accept his application will cost him a year of his life as he's missed his opportunity to apply to other schools for the fall. "To have them turn their back on me like this, to point at me and say, 'You're different and we won't let you in because of it' - that's an emotional blow" (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-of-ottawa-accused-of-discrimination-by-learning-disabled-student-1.3549044).

Pat Leave: It's Good for Everyone

With changing times means some men are embracing fatherhood in a more unique way. It's easy to simply impregnate a woman and then let her be with your baby while you focus on career and moving up the ladder. However, it's more than your sperm that is needed for fatherhood. Time, dedication, love, and hard work are required as well. I commend Facebook's change in policy to extend parental leave to four months, following Mark Zuckerburg's announcement that he would take two months off after his wife Priscilla Chan gives birth to their daughter. "I am proud to announce today that we are extending our parental leave policy for full time employees to cover four months of paid baby leave for all new parents, no matter their gender or where in the world they live," Lori Matloff Goler, Facebook's head of HR, wrote on the social media site (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/11/30/facebook-parental-leave_n_8683198.html). The policy, which will take affect on Jan. 1, 2016 will also extend to staff who adopted a baby in 2015. "Studies show that when working parents take time to be with their newborns, outcomes are better for the children and families," continued Matloff Goler. "For too long, paid baby leave has been granted only to a mother who is giving birth. We believe that fathers and mothers alike deserve the same level of support when they are starting and growing a family, regardless of how they define family." My cousin Steve went on pat leave for a little while to help his wife out with at least two of their three children. He was happy to take time to support her and spend more time with his young family. Since he was able to get some paid time off to help out, he chose to do so. I would encourage all men to think this over if they have an opportunity to do so. I would also venture to say that by doing so you would be strengthening the bond with your girlfriend or wife. Other tech companies that have extended or introduced maternity and paternity leave policies include Microsoft, Apple, Adobe, Netflix, and Spotify. In Canada, men and women are eligible for 35 weeks of paternity leave for a newborn or newly adopted child (http://www.servicecanada.gc.ca/eng/ei/types/maternity_parental.shtml#long). It surprises and shocks me that the US is one of five countries, which does not provide parents with paid leave following the birth of their child. Companies with 50 employees or more are obligated to give parents 12 weeks of unpaid "protected job leave." The US may be advanced in many areas, but they are extremely backwards in this respect. Tom Stocky shared his experience of staying home for four months with his daughter and said that overall was a very positive experience. On Facebook, he wrote: "It was nice to have her like me so much, to come to me for comfort when she fell, to come and cuddle with me when she got sleepy, to run toward me screaming with excitement after I'd been away for awhile. I realized that's just because I spent so much time with her, but I didn't care, it felt really good. Maybe it was also because I got better at childcare. It feels nice to be good at something, and I got much better at the work I was doing at home" (https://www.facebook.com/tstocky/posts/996111776858). He added: "When I tell people I'm on a 4-month leave, the initial response is typically surprise that my company offers such a generous benefit. Facebook's paternity leave policy is unusual, but I hope it becomes less so. It's good for gender equality in the workplace and it's good for families with fathers." I agree. We need to encourage parents to make more of an equal effort in raising their children and not punish them if they choose to do so. Furthermore, we need to continue challenging and changing the way society views men who choose to take pat leave. They must be applauded for taking their fatherly responsibilities seriously in comparison to some men who simply split when their significant others get pregnant or those who are such workaholics that they rarely see their families.